Connection
May 17, 2016Eye On The Prize
July 17, 2016As your pursuit of success gains momentum, you soon start to realise that some things work for you and unfortunately some things do not.
The reason/s in most cases are self explanatory, where in other cases, maybe not so much.
Take for instance the people around you. The people, when you step back and take an honest and real look at both their approach and intent toward your journey of success, will fall into one of four categories:
i. Positive/Positive:
The positive approach/positive intention person/people are those around you that do everything they can to make every step you take a ‘winner’. Their support, guidance and positive reinforcement is done simply because they want you do well. They have your back at every turn. They make sure you are doing all you can to make your dreams come true, and correspondingly they are also doing everything they can to help anywhere and at anytime.
They are your supporter, coach, mentor, friend, cheerleader, gatekeeper, teacher, motivator, disciplinarian, conscience and voice of positivity.
ii. Negative/Negative:
Unfortunately their are those that are, in their own way and for their own reasons trying to stop you achieving your goals and dreams. The negative approach/negative intention.
These are the small minority that simply don’t want anyone else to succeed at anything regardless of the goal or the reason. Maybe their approach is because of a tall poppy syndrome? Perhaps because of pet jealousies? The reasons are wide and varied and in the end the reasons don’t really matter because this little gem of an individual will fabricate any sort of reason required to hold you back. They have an innate ability to make sure their actions, attitudes and behaviours remain constant in their pursuit of your failure.
They will do what they can and when to make sure they succeed and you don’t. And even if they don’t want to succeed, they will still do what they can to make sure you don’t.
Unfortunately disappointingly sad, but true.
But what about the two other factions? Those people that sit on both sides of the support bandwagon but in different ways to what we have already discussed?
So lets start with the…
iii. Positive/Negative:
The positive approach/negative intention is that person you know that will do everything to support you in your pursuit of success, but their intent is based more around what they gain from it than what you might. Don’t get me wrong these are some of your greatest supporters, your most ardent cheerleaders. They are there for every step of the journey, doing what they can and when to make sure it all works out.
Oh yeah, but they do it all for themselves!
Don’t be fooled. Their actions may say one thing, however that doesn’t mean their motivation is coming from a positive place. These people are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Just because they are smiling at you doesn’t mean they won’t drag you down in a heartbeat (in a very controlled almost impossible to detect manner) if it means that you get what you want and they miss out.
iv. Negative/Positive:
So now let’s take look at the negative approach (perceived)/positive intention. You know the person that is always the voice of caution and restraint. Are you sure this should be done? Have you looked at it from this perspective? What happens if this was to go down? Have you considered this or that?
The negative/positive is that individual that on the surface may seem like they are trying to hold you back when in real terms they are attempting to support and guide you by alerting you to your blind spots. Yes their approach might seem negative, but their intention is nothing but positive. They want the best for you, but at the same time they want to protect you from you and do what they can to make sure you don’t go to far down the rabbit hole without knowing exactly what you are doing and what are the ramifications of your actions.
So as you can see there are many different people around you, doing many different things, for many different reasons. Some good, some not. So to what degree do you try to figure out who is with you, and I mean truly with you and who is against?
Well that my friend is a question that only you can truly answer.
But to help you with that question here is quick glimpse into my past:
As a young coach I was once told…”When ever anyone does something, always ask yourself why”.
It may sound like a bit of a paranoid approach, but the advice and the question has always served me well. I would guess it could do the same for you.
The people around us, Our Circle Of Influence are important, very important in fact. So take your time and select and manage well and in the process you will make sure, that in all the right ways and for all the right reasons…
The Journey Continues!