As I get back to the keyboard in an attempt to finalise my thoughts and observations over the past few days, I continue to realise that it hasn’t been a easy task.

You see the subject for this post has come from a number of unrelated situations that have been raised by different clients from within our coaching programme.

The one positive aspect in all of this was that none of our coaching programme participants were the perpetrators of the subject matter, nor were they on the receiving end. They were just involved as a third party.

The approach that I am alluding to is one where people continue to use certain phrases to remove themselves from the responsibility of their actions.

As the week went on and the more I understood the commonalities between these individual situations the more I heard the words of my father ringing in my ears…“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.

If the people involved were questioned in and around what they had done, or what had eventuated from their actions, I have absolutely no doubt that each would immediately respond with something along the lines of “I didn’t do anything illegal” and to my knowledge they would be right.

As each individual case was explained to me, there was one single aspect that began to stand out above all else. And that was where each of the perpetrators of the situation had attempted to justify their approach and actions by drawing on what I refer to as irresponsibility phrases or justification statements.

Basically they are just excuses. Excuses that unfortunately are quite prevalent in modern society and in these cases were being used in some way to justify why they had done what they had.

Here are a few examples:

“Nothing personal, its just business”

This was used after one business owner had done a major wrong by another, causing catastrophic financial hardship. As I alluded to above, what they did wasn’t illegal, however everything around it reeked of opportunism and greed.

I suppose in the end, each of us for our own reasons for doing things in certain ways and for a particular reason. But once again…“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.

“If I didn’t do it someone else would”

My initial response to this statement would have been…”Are you sure?” And I could have asked this question quite confidently as I don’t know anyone that would have done what this person had. Once again nothing illegal, but seriously, you think a statement like that makes what you did seem acceptable.

“That’s just the way it is”

No, that’s the way you’ve made it. Not only have you benefitted at someone else’s expense, which I know is part of everyday competitive life and survival of the fittest mode. And not only was it at someone else expense but it actually sent them to the cleaners.

Some take these and similar irresponsibility phrases or justification statements and attempt to use them to excuse their way forward.

However the reality is when these statements or phrases are used, ones actions are not explained or their approach justified. All that is done is the flaws in your character are highlighted for the world to see.

When we allow these statements or phrases to be used, all we are actually doing is allowing ourselves to become way less than what or who we should be. Our values, our integrity and our character are instantaneously diminished the moment these words are uttered.

We lose ourself in the pursuit of attainment and benefit.

Me I am all for winning, achieving, and getting better. But the pursuit and attainment of success is always better when it is underpinned by a level of integrity that can never be questioned.

As my father said…“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” but if you do “Do the right thing” and “Do things right” and watch as, not only for you but for those around you…

The Journey Continues!