Due to the diversity and magnitude of the role, leadership can generate all types of emotions. This is in itself (and although, at times, it might not seem like it) is a good thing.

The challenge for any great leader is not to stifle their emotions but to be able to manage those emotions. This should be done in a way that allows them to deal with what is in front of them, and to continue to effectively lead those they are responsible for, and also, in the process, keep a cool head and learn from the experience.

This is regardless of whether the situation or associated emotion is positive or negative.

One of the excellent leadership skills is knowing when, where and why you separate different emotions and when you link them.

On the positive side, if we were in a position to have a unique opportunity come our way, we could link a number of emotions (prescribers) to help us work through the opportunity… Or we could have the same feelings highlight what we have just been through (describers). Either way, you decide to utilise these emotions and how they can be successfully linked.

Here is a brief overview of what types of emotions could be used now and then how we could link these different emotions.

Interest=>motivation =>excitement =>pride=>achievement=>happiness=>satisfaction=>gratitude

Before we get too much further into this discussion, it is also essential to look at the times when we shouldn’t link our emotions or allow them to flow from one to another again.

The simplest and most common occurrence of this is when I see frustration become anger. It is a trait of someone not in control of their emotions, and more often than not, represents lousy leadership.

I have no doubt you have witnessed this transition on many occasions yourself. For whatever reason, things have not gone the way the person intended.

Perhaps it was an opportunity they thought was coming their way, going somewhere or to someone else. Maybe a person they relied on didn’t quite come through for them, or a result they thought was in the bag didn’t eventuate.

If everything was set up right, so that person was in the best possible position to take and make the most of these opportunities, and then it didn’t work out or eventuate, then these and other similar situations can generate frustration. And understandably so.

To some extent, it is OK to be frustrated, but at the same time, you:

i. You can’t let the frustration hold you to emotional ransom. You cannot carry the frustration with you for the next five days. It would be best if you used the frustration to generate positive action, and the first positive action would be to ascertain why the presumed outcome or result didn’t happen.

ii. Don’t let frustration flow into other emotions. Isolate your frustration and deal with it. Don’t let frustration turn into anger. Don’t be sucker punched by someone or something that then helps you take your frustration and turn it into something it shouldn’t be anger.

Think about it; recall those situations where you or someone you know has allowed frustration to become anger. I’ll bet it has never ended well.

Does this look familiar?

Things don’t go as planned, and frustration ensues; the more it is thought about, the more the disappointment escalates into anger.

Then:
-Blame starts to get assigned to others = increased anger
-Past issues then get brought back up to support your case = increased anger
-Defence is seen as excuses = increased anger
-The anger flows into other issues, and the original situation gets lost = increased anger.

And as all of this is going on, you lose:
-The person in front of you
-The respect of the group
-Control of yourself and the situation
-Any level of self-respect
-Ultimately, your effectiveness as a leader

Simply put, engage your emotions, use them wisely and effectively, control them so they work for you and not against you and as you do, watch as…

The Journey Continues!