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Controlling v Control

“Control the controllable, and let the rest go”.

I imagine that you, like I, have heard that statement or similar numerous times, and for a variety of reasons. It is a great saying, it has relevance and it has merit. However, in the true light of day it can be difficult to adhere to.

Just because you can’t control something also doesn’t always mean you can simply let it go. Even if you do manage to let it go, this doesn’t guarantee it won’t re-enter your consciousness.

It seems this is most people’s experience.

They attempt to ignore a situation or let go of something they cannot control, but the situation or scenario continues to come back again and again.

For mine, I like to take a different approach to letting it go or ignoring the situation. I work on and through the difference between being able ‘to control something’ and ‘being in control’. Basically we cannot always control a situation, person or outcome. But we can always be in control of how we respond and deal with what we can’t control.

Understanding what has or is happening, is the first move of being in control. To do this without bias, without pre-judgement and without emotion is the skill of the disciplined and the focused. As soon as you are able to fully understand and comprehend the true scenario that stands before you, you are then in a much better position to be able to start working toward the second level of being in control, and that second level comes from your ability to ascertain the ‘Why?’ behind what has occurred.

Once again, for you to be able to answer the question of ‘Why?’ honestly and effectively it will take focus, effort and discipline. It makes no sense to take short cuts, to conclude through bias or shaded lenses as this will only lead to decisions being made on information this simply isn’t true.

Take the time and make the effort to position yourself so that you can find the real reasons as to ‘Why’ this is happening. Once the ‘What’ and the ‘Why’ are defined and understood, you are in a much better position of being able to control yourself, your response and what comes next.

However, don’t mistake you being in control with being able to control the situation. What has happened has happened. Your time and energy is best utilised understanding the ‘What’ and the ‘Why’ and from that then how you will remain in control of yourself, your emotion and focus as you deal with the situation and as you move on from it with perspective, context and purpose.

If you choose to ignore situations you can’t control in many and probably most situations, the ability to do so will be difficult if not impossible.

So rather than ignore what has happened, rather than try to control something you can’t control, simply focus on and work hard at understanding what has happened and why. Then from that, what you need to do to so as to remain in control of how you respond to what has gone down.

By doing this you will be well on your way in making sure that in all the right ways and for all the right reasons you are in control and therefore…

The Journey Continues!

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